25 Random Things About Me

25 Random Things About Me

(This was a facebook thing so I thought I'd add it to my blog.)

1. It is nearly impossible for me to be brief!!! But there, I did it… (if you don’t feel like reading the rest of this I’ll understand!)


2. I’m extremely grateful for my challenges. I couldn’t always say that but now I can without reservation. I soooo badly want to be the most amazing, incredible, effective, capable person I can be~ to totally fill the measure of my creation!…and you know what get’s me closer to my BIG GIANT ever EXPANSIVE goal…yep, you guessed it, challenges. So bring’em on! I’ll just get better at staying happy in the midst of them and I’ll keep getting stronger…


3. I used to chainsaw carve- I made bears and fish and eagles etc... Yep…nothing like a girl with a power tool!!! I was even featured on the nightly news in Seattle because of it. The thing that was most funny was when they showed my kids playing on the swing set with earplugs in next to my carving area. MmmMRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

4. I am taking up bee keeping this spring. I’ve always loved the little creatures, they are industrious, organized, persevering, purposeful, spirited, tenacious and to top it off~ are extremely passionate…no wonder they resonate with me. Queen Bee Power!!!

5. Yoga~ it is my sanity. There is nothing that a good yoga class can’t put into perspective. I just love how it centers a person, quiets the mind, and connects me to my real purpose. I am also so extremely grateful for my body. 12 years ago I was in a car accident. I ended up having back surgery and Physical Therapy three days a week. For 9 years I struggled intensely with my back. Then I found YOGA…whew! I learned how to strengthen my core body, and am happy to say that most of the time I am totally pain free…except when I go crazy shoveling snow at 1am.

6. I do acting and a bit of modeling- an incredible way to make money doing something that I love!!!! The best part about it is working with people…I just love interacting with the director, my fellow actors, and the crews. I also love the feeling of being in front of the camera- there is something about it that just is so real…there is no hiding! What you see is what you get, and I’ve always loved that honesty! I’m fortunate that I don’t get nervous very easily…actually there is something so invigorating to me about all of the lights, camera, action energy in the room! I’m a very lucky girl!

7. I have been blessed with the most amazing friends my whole life! I count myself very rich…I can hardly believe how fortunate I am as I sit and reflect upon each person and uniquely characteristic difference they have made in my life…even when they didn’t know the impression or imprint that they were leaving in even the tiniest interaction. It’s just really incredible to me and a sure testament of the power of one… and if you are reading this…you can be sure that you are one of whom I speak. I most sincerely thank you!

8. I love water! It is the most amazing element. I love to be in it, whether it’s floating way out past the waves in the big blue ocean, reading a book in the bathtub, or totally surrendering every bit of stress as I float in my hot tub on a frosty snowy night…Ahhhh, water!

9. Speaking of Water…I had three of my five babies in water. My last little sweet girl was born in my hot tub in the back yard on a blustery November night. SO INVIGORATING- and what an awesome way to enter the world!

10. I am totally into midwifery. I thought I wanted to become a midwife but I realized that I’m too much of a free spirit to be on call. I still want to learn the art of helping to bring babies into the world…and then just happen to be needed someday. I realized that what I really love about midwifery is watching women become empowered as they take responsibility for their birth experience. It is so amazing to see a woman walk the journey of growth that pregnancy, labor, and birth can produce. I never tire of it!

11. I was given an African name while I was in Africa…Rohoyamakunga. It means Heart of a Midwife.

12. Delicious food is one thing that makes this life so wonderful. We are such a blessed nation…to have at our fingertips any spice and nearly any food we could wish for. The ability to create delicious, creative, beautiful to look at food for the people I love is one of the great joys of my life. Come on over…I promise you will leave with a very happy tummy! Even as I type this I am simmering a pot of Srilankan Kukul Mas Curry and making Saffron rice for some friends I’m going to visit. Yummy!

13. I have lived in the most amazing places…but in my heart there is and will always be a tender place for my garden home Seattle. I suppose it is the place I think I “really grew up.” and after all it’s the place I found the love of my life while I played in the phenomenal adventure land that is the Emerald City. I had my 5 beautiful children there and together we played some more. I happily explored every nook and cranny and dined at nearly every restaurant and tasted every possible kind of food I could with my dear wonderful friend Grandma. Oh…just get me started. Sufficed to say-SEATTLE…there is no place like it!

14. I LOVE TO BE ORGANIZED!!!! It is the one outward place in life that it’s okay to wield absolute power!

15. I love the BLUE ANGLE’S. When I watch them fly overhead I feel like a school girl with her first crush. There is something so dang sexy about those planes and the sound they make as they jet across the sky. I think my heart is beating faster just thinking about them. Man I’ve got it bad!

16. Butterfly is my 17 hand,1,500 lbs American Warmblood. Right now she’s in foal with her second baby due in April. I am making a primary that by October of 2009 we will be together again!!!

17. My Jewels are my 5 astounding, splendid children. They truly fill me up and give me reason to live. I have many regrets that sting from my almost 18 years of motherhood, but I keep trying to grow and change and to be better. Hopefully when the time comes for them to go on their own, they will forgive me for my mistakes as well as carry with them a firm knowledge that they are totally loved; that they will know who they are, and have a vision of who they can become. That they will know they can do anything they set their minds too…and not just because I told them so, but because I did! Oh… And I hope that they will be full of memories of many fun times…enough that they come back home for more. I’ll let them go, but I’ll still hold on…


18. Right now I am witnessing what I consider to be a miracle every day at my kitchen counter as I help my little Kindergartner as she learns to read. It is simply breathtaking, for I acknowledge reading to be one of the most significant abilities anyone could have. In reading there is freedom, in reading there is power, in reading there is hope! (I learned that in Africa) I could never list all the incredible books that have changed the course of my life…they (especially the scriptures) have helped mold me, one page at a time, into who I am. l live in gratitude daily for my ability to read.

WOW THIS IS A LONG LIST…

19. Memorizing…it’s a talent (that I work hard on.) I like to memorize lots of quotes and poems…and lucky for me it helps with my scripts. It’s good…because kinda like having SUPERCALAFRAGALISTICEXPEALIDOUCIOUS up your sleeve…I’m never at a loss for something I could say.


20. I too love words, verbally spoken and written…to me they are magical, mystical, powerful and liberating. To command them in a way that can bring a smile to your neighbors face, or cause a grown man to cry, or make someone you love burst out in laughter; or how they can be even so sharp that they can pierce through the very heart of someone~ all of this just amazes me. Words are a tool so mighty, with such a lasting affect that one must treat them with care. My favorite of all time bathroom reading is…you guessed it, a dictionary and a thesaurus. Try taking one in with you…but you may have a hard time coming out.


21. Dolphins are my favorite animals because they are an example to me that no matter what happens it’s important to never loose your sense of humor. Even in the direst of circumstances, they stay connected with their friends, they work together to tackle their challenges, and remember to keep it light!


22. Light! I love light…whether it’s morning light coming in my window shining on me as I write in my journal, or Candle light making my home feel warm and cozy. Christmas Lights, and firelight, or even track light. I love the light that radiates from my friends smiley face…or from my lover’s eyes as he looks at me across a romantic dinner table. And of course there is the light that comes from the gospel, and the brightest light of all…HIM. Light- I am addicted to it. Anything that brings more light into my life…that is what I am attracted to, it’s what I crave, I live for it!


23. Journal writing is something I’ve been doing fairly regularly now for about 25 years. I have 28 complete volumes, 10 of them written in the last 3 years alone. Writing in my journal is my other therapist that combined with regular Yoga keeps me pretty happy. I don’t know if anyone will ever read them, or would want to, but I will say that I have learned so very much by writing and it has helped me be self aware…I can see my problems from a far instead of being “in them,” and I think there is something so self healing about that.


24. I ran for Mrs. Utah. It was very interesting. It was funny to see there faces when I answered the question- what is the most unusual thing you did to prepare to run, and I responded with, “I bought makeup.” Anyways I hope that was that girly girl enough for you Mr. Huddleston? Now can I go back to my hiking boots?

LAST BUT NOT LEAST…

25. I have a horrible habit of holding it…you know- not going to the bathroom until I absolutely have to! You’re lucky though…because all these things would have probably been way longer except for the fact that I’m totally wiggling in my seat right now. GOTTA GOOOOOoooooooo……

I Pledge Allegence

I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to watch live on our family’s computer the inauguration of our 44th President as he took the sacred and high office of President of the United States of America. President Barack Obama.

After celebrating yesterday Martin Luther King Day, the significance of this moment was even more poignant. We have come so far from that historic speech on the steps of the Lincoln Monument where Dr. King first spoke those enduring words; I have a dream.
Surely we are yet another step forward towards the fulfillment of that righteous and noble vision. Truly we are a more united people as a whole, yet the message of the day has been and is still…we have not arrived.
We have yet far to travel. There is still intolerance; there is still poverty, both financial and emotional. There are still injustices and to some degree we are even more accountable for the vices and challenges that we find ourselves experiencing than ever before because we know better.
We must each determine in our own lives to recommitting ourselves to growth and to the taking of personal responsibility and accountability to that part which is ours to claim. No longer shunning this responsibility to another, or pointing the finger outward- but claiming squarely what is ours and focusing within our most basic area of influence- on ourselves. By so doing and by growing in integrity and character our capacity will be enlarged, or sphere of influence expanded. We will begin to make change. And though that change may be small and seemingly insignificant at first, it will eventually ripple out in greater and greater measure.

Quoting Robert F. Kennedy from a speech he gave in South Africa on June 1966, the day of affirmation.

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. It’s from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other form a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”

Let us never forget the intrinsic power that lies within each one of us to produce change; because we are children of God, there lies within all of us incomprehensible potential. I would submit that one of the great opportunities of this birthright is the ability to rise to this innate greatness by striving to learn and grow and as we humble ourselves through service and sacrifice, in short as we become more like him.

We are each called; we each have a uniquely personal mission to perform. No one can take our place. It is up to us to fulfill our foreordained potential by our thoughts and desires, and by our acts and deeds.

Though my influence is yet very small, I pledge my support, prayers, and positive energy to President Obama, and to all of our faithful elected leaders of this nation.

I too promise to do my part to support and uphold the constitution, first of all by becoming more familiar to this sacred work and by working to be a defender and advocate of it’s message and to it’s mission.

I also recommit myself to doing all I can to “preserve the sanctity and safety of the home and the integrity of the family, where faith in God and obedience to His commandments are taught as the foundation of a productive life.” I recognize that the family is the basic unity of society, and know that our nation will be stronger as I strengthen my family; the center of my sphere of influence. Here I will work tirelessly to succeed.

All these things I do solemnly pledge with my whole heart.

The beautie of telling the truth.

Okay... In my last blog I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and a bit discouraged. Well, I figured out what was keeping me down....

FEAR.Yes fear and pride...and ultimately my justifications for not being entirely honest. The results of which are so predictable, so totally expected- discomfort, separation, depression, darkness. All feelings I don't prefer, yet even so, not as scary as the perceived danger I felt when I considered the option of telling the truth. It wasn’t someone else I was lying to, it was me.

What a LIE to think that I would find anything satisfying there; the truth is, as it always has been, precisely what sets us free.

So I finally got real enough to look at what was really bothering me, deal with it, do something about it, and get over it!

I'm speaking in code to some extent, but that's because I'm not totally ready or willing to bear all...but think there is a lesson- even without the details, for anyone interested.

In dealing with this issue of mine I turned to a mini course offered through Avatar on the Avatar website. Wow...what powerful little things they are. In reading the Integrity mini course I was struck by this statement...

"Being honest is really a question of courage – courage enough to face what we fear. This gets lost in the smoke screen of deceptions that is used to justify dishonesty. Whenever we accept that there is good reason to be dishonest –hardship, desperation, depression, ignorance, victimhood, etc. – we increase the evidence for fearing what we are avoiding. And what is it? Only this: Fear is a BELIEF in our inadequacy to deal with something. And that belief precedes any evidence of failure we have collected.
So, do we have the courage to face what we fear? This is life’s most severe test – failure leads to unawareness. Unawareness arising from fear is why people are dishonest. The belief responsible for the fear may be lost in confusion or hidden in the shame of humiliation. The invitation is to avoid, to forget, to go stupid, and the urge to be right further sanctions our ignorance. What a breath of fresh air to face a dishonest act and say, “I did it because I was afraid. Period!” That
is the first step toward discovering the hidden fear. What a relief! There is no longer a need to struggle to change the world or circumstances or anybody else. You can work on yourself. You need only to gather your courage and look for a BELIEF you have about your own inadequacy. At the bottom of every dishonest act, there is at least one."

Harry Palmer (Integrity Mini Course. http://www.avatarepc.com/)

I love this...it so eloquently puts into words what I am learning through my own experience. I do get afraid that I won't be able to deal with something and I run, or I act like a turtle and pull in m my shell. So ineffective.

Facing it, dealing with it, getting through and then over it...it works!

I’m back to being happy- full of hope me.

Feels soooo much better!

Ideals

In thinking about ideals...one can get a bit discouraged. At least I can.

I want so much to be all I can be, achieve all I can achieve. What vision I hold for myself, what hope. And yet, once in awhile it seems that the day to day struggle, the weaknesses that do beset me feel almost impenetrable. And though I try to overlook them, try to overcome them, it is almost as if the inertia, which I feel with as much pull as gravity itself, is too much.

I usually don't feel so stuck. But when I do, I recognize that there are some beliefs swirling around my head keeping me locked in my box- some reaction sequence I'm caught in...yet so transparent to me.

Sigh.

I know what to do...journal, become an observer, let myself rant and rave...get it all out until he belief burst forth. The thought of it is overwhelming...

Ideals.

Thank goodness for ideals. They cause us to reach, to stretch, to hope, to dream. But today as I think on them I experience stress.

I sit up in my chair, trying to increase alignment in my hips, back and neck as I type on this computer, suddenly the lessons of Yoga enter my mind~ this physical medium, so psychological- so spiritual- so rooted in the whole of me, cause me to remember...

we reach our ideals, by allowing ourselves to notice, to be, where we are.

To breath ever so gently in to that reality which is now...with no judgment, only acceptance and love.

As I feel into these words my eyes fill with tears.

To just look on myself with compassion. Ahh...it causes me to laugh with joy.

We humans, generally for the most part want to be good. We want to do our best. We want to improve...so much so that sometimes the reaching can cause us to topple over and forget our foundation of being. I long to stand, and to stand tall...and I know when I can I then will be able to reach.

So with that, today, I will focus not on the ideal but on grounding myself in the now, in being kind and patient with me. I do my practice the best I can, and let it be.

In this day, that is my ideal for me.

Something to think about...

Today, may you find happiness by thinking about how “lucky” you are… to simply be WHO you are, WHERE you are, and WHEN you are.

Stop trying to make so much sense of things! Stop predicating the present and the future upon what has been, or even what appears “to be”. The props of your life are just props; FICTIONAL. You are NOT at the mercy of the past, the present, or the future…logic, reason, or rationales…

YOU, are a Being of Light for whom all things remain possible, and there are no caveats to this truth. There are NO caveats to this truth.

Do you have any idea who you really are? Do you have any idea of your affect on others? Do you know what it’s like to be touched by you? To be held in your glance? To be smiled upon by you? Do you even know what it’s like to brush up along side of you in the streets? To see you from a distance? Up close? Do you know what it’s like to see you approaching? Do you know what it’s like to watch you walk away? Do you know what it does for someone when they realize that you’ve been thinking of them?

No, you don’t. Your insights, beauty, strength, courage and humility change lives everyday, and you don’t even know it. It’s especially sad, because those you touch “think” you know, so they might not remind you.

Well since you don’t know it, and since others may not tell you, let me. YOU are a light in the darkness. A bringer of the dawn. Your touch heals, your gaze inspires, and your smile is like cool water to parched lips. The sight of you stirs confidence, and your shadow even, comfort. Your arrival quickens one’s spirit, and your departure is always too soon. Your profoundly unique journey has been one-of-a-kind, and its yielded compassion and insights as rare as yourself~ gifts that sparkle like a diamond in the sun.

You are a pillar, and icon, and a champion to those who know you, and to those who wish they did. Your affect on the world, TODAY, as you are, when you are you, is AWESOME. Shine your light, because while your significance may sometimes escape you…it changes others forever.

~ Author Unknown

Finger in the door!

Well...from the title of this blog it safe to assume that someone got slammed. Yes, and that someone was me. I'd like to blame it on Henry, my 100lb- 11 year old German Shepard, but I can't. This morning I've had a lot of feelings that I haven't preferred and most all of them I'd like to blame on someone else.

But...and here's the rub~I've learned that blaming others just never ever brings satisfaction. It doesn't bring happiness. And it most certainly doesn't bring growth. Even when we are "truly victims," being "truly abused" by another, it seems that looking for what we could have done differently to have avoided being in that situation in the first place, or how we could have reacted that would have made it better, re-empowers us. I am all about personal empowerment. Even if the power we can find in a certain situation is miniscule.

But so far today has not been one of those days...lately all I've really wanted to was just sit and not take responsibility, not take ownership of my experience. I've been constantly tempted to throw a full on pity party. As you can imagine it hasn't been the funnest week. I think my back pain hasn't helped any. But again I knew...even though it felt so good to be outside shoveling snow alone, the crisp night air blowing ever so lightly through my hair, the tiny snowflakes landing on my lips as I looked up twords heaven; and the peacefulness of the midnight hour so engulfing, 't was enough to make me block out that that twinge I felt in my back telling me to stop. The fact is, I could be experiencing something different with my back right now. It came down to my choice, my decision, my power. I acknowledge that and that makes this back pain okay because I know how to avoid it in the future.

So as I sit here with my finger throbbing trying to stop the bleeding, reflecting upon the temper tantrum I was throwing over my Dog scratching at the back door, and my ultimate carelessness and lack of will power that resulted in pain. I learn a little more...

Thanks for helping me Sierra!!

My Brilliant Daughter~ Sierra

What would I do without Sierra. I am her Mother, yes, but she teaches me so much. Today she walked in after I had been struggling to figure out how to attach a slid show this blog, and in 30 seconds she had figured out my problem. Genious!

Sierra has so many talents. I am always amazed by the magic that happens when she decides to try something. To watch her draw or paint is memorizing. To read one of her poems- fascinating; and to taste one of her baked creations is to experience art in one of it's most delicious forms.

We are all having fun with this blog I think. Once I figure this one out I'll let me little people create a family one~ that should be interesting. I think it will be a good way for Grandma Mema to see what her Great Grandchildren are up to.

I keep feeling like I should be saying something "note worthy" but I'm just going to relax and write what comes.

Perhaps I should read someone else’s blog to get a sense of what all the talks been about. I've never actually read a blog; funny, although maybe that's a good thing. Then I won't be tempted to monitor what I create.

Thinking out loud- Or on a keyboard about Lorien being sick : (

Watching you're baby be sick is no fun!!! I know she's six but she's still my baby. I wish I were a doctor so that I could know if I needed to take her in or not…wait, if I were a doctor then I wouldn’t need to take her in.
I’d say she just has a virus except for these tiny little teeny red dots on her face that weren’t there yesterday. Hum?

My guess is she's can’t be that sick since she just called out from on the couch..."Can I have the chocolate Fudge Kind," referring to Pop-Cicles.
She's still our Coco LoLo!

Oh well…I’m gonna take her in.

Better to be safe than sorry.

Learning how to blog...new medium of self expression for 2009!

Well, after hearing all this talk about..."His blog said this, and her blog said that, and, I wrote such and such on my blog... " I thought, "I want a blog too!"

So here I go...

Now what do I do?

That reminds me of a story that my Mom tells about the difference between me and my sister Elizabeth when we were little.

The story goes that I was always making friends where ever we would go. My sister back then was a little bit more reserved but was watching me all the while.
Well one day when we were at Disneyland my sister thought she would try out one of my "meet up routines." While in the bathroom she had the chance to talk to a little girl and after a minute or so asked her if she wanted to be friends. The girl said yes!
This suprised my sister who with a terrified look on her face, turned and asked my Mom " Now what do I do?"

Well almost thirty years have passed since then and my Sister has definitely learned the art of making and being friends. She is truly one of my very very best!
She is also a media~nista and can do things with a computer that I would only dream off.
But looking back at that bathroom scene with my sister gives me hope~ if she can come to where she is from "Now what do I do?" then maybe there is hope for me after all on the computer!

For anyone intreastead or brave enough to read on! I'll tell you two important facts- well three.

First thing to clear up...I CAN'T SPELL!!!! I admit it. If you have an aversion to being friends with someone spelling challenged log off now!

The second thing...I try and I think I'm getting better, but so far I have a very hard time being short with my words. There is just so much to think about, so much I feel, ahh~ I can feel myself waxing philosophical already. I'll stop for now.

The third thing...I love allot! I feel allot! and I love to share allot! ....that's five things. Oh well...

So, with that said, to whoever’s still reading... I hope you find something worthwhile in all of this and that I do too!

To amazing abundant life!!!

A ; )